I’m still processing over the events that have happened to me recently, trying to figure out what forgiveness might look like and what will it take for me to move on from this traumatic heartbreak and to have closure. It has become more and more clear that what I chose was the wisest decision, that obedience to Christ is better than whatever temporary sorrow and despair that I feel now. This doesn’t mean that I haven’t felt resentment or bitterness. Oh, on the contrary, I think I’ve gone through every possible emotion in the last three months!
And yet, despite all of this, I can’t believe that my heart has grown to love Jesus more. I’m learning that I can run to Him and bring all my emotions to Him (yes, even the ugly ones!). There have been many moments of desperation and in those times, even when I can’t stop the stream of endless tears from flowing down my face, I have a gentle assurance and conviction that God is worthy of my trust. He is speaking to me through Scripture. He is speaking to me through family and friends who are praying for me, caring for me, and spurring me on to finish this race well. He is faithful to me.Continue reading “Knowing God”