Tag Archives: Martin Freeman

Weekly Favorite Links (July 9-15, 2015)

Trinity College Library, Dublin, Ireland

(Photo Via)

So… here’s a belated update: I am on week three at the new job. Everything just happened so quickly and there’s been a ton of changes to adapt to. But y’all already know how I feel about change. For the past several weeks, I’ve been in training for tasks and duties that I have responsibilities for. In addition, since someone on my team will be going on leave soon, I have extra things that I’ll need to handle in their absence. Otherwise, I have enjoyed getting to know my coworkers and other people in neighboring departments.

Funemployment seems like so long ago, when in reality, it was only three weeks ago. THREE. I also started an online course around the same time, which has only added to the busyness. Does it sound a little overwhelming? It kind of is. I think the biggest change for me during this time of transition has been the loss of free time. (And sunshine. SUNSHINE, I MISS YOU.)

When I was unemployed, I had almost all the free time in the world. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to do — I still had a schedule that I followed — but the difference was that I could practically do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And it was really nice, not to mention super comfortable. But now, I’m quite limited in what I can do outside of work. My leisure time is limited to the couple hours I have before work and the handful of hours I have after work, before the hectic cycle repeats itself all over again. While I had expected this and had tried to prepare myself for it ahead of time, it’s nonetheless still overwhelming–physically, mentally, and emotionally.

If anything, I think resuming employment brought out certain idols in my life. I realized that I’m quite selfish with my time and I’m more of a creature of comfort than I thought I was. When a working day is complete, I can’t wait to go back home and just lock myself up in my room and catch up on a day’s worth of social media. When I clock out of the office, I wrestle with making time for others that are harder for me to love. I go back and forth on deciding whether to spend quality time with family over hanging out with friends because I’d much rather be surrounded by the latter. I grumble in my heart when I have to put aside my wants and desires, my so-called “me” time.

There are days when I feel depleted of energy, completely fatigued, and yet I know that I need to lay aside my own selfishness, pride, and love of self in order to be faithful. Sometimes it doesn’t seem “fair.” But employed or not employed, God is always teaching me how to follow him in the mundane. Every day, I have choices I need to make. Do I choose to live for myself or do I choose to surrender and let God reign in my life? Do I choose joy or despair? Dependence in God or control over my own circumstances? Anxiety or confidence in God’s sovereignty?

Sacrificial love is hard. Obedience is hard. Persevering is hard. However, if there’s anything that quickly shakes me out of my own pity party, it’s dwelling on the fact that Christ went above and beyond to demonstrate sacrificial love to me. Christ humbled himself and was obedient, even to the point of death on a cross. So in the mornings, when I struggle to wake up and have a cheerful attitude, or when I’m fighting feelings of being overwhelmed, I pray that God would humble and change my heart. I pray that I would repeat Philippians 2 to myself and that I’d cast away any self-centeredness, looking towards Christ as the ultimate example of how to serve and love others, and to have joy in the face of trials.

Continue reading

Advertisements

Weekly Favorite Links (April 30-May 6, 2015)

(Photo Via)

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s been a little bit quiet around here besides these weekly favorite links posts. Something that I haven’t yet mentioned on here is that I’ve been in a career transition for almost a month now (omgoodness time fliiiieeess). In other words, I’ve been funemployed. The crazy thing is that my life’s only gotten busier. How is that even possible? I don’t even know. It just turned out that way.

A lot of people in my life have been kindly checking in on me and one of the first questions they ask is to see how funemployment is turning out. To be honest, I never quite know how to answer them because I assume that they’re expecting me to reply with a “it’s been really chill and boring,” or “it’s okay, just job hunting,” or some other answer that they’ve already pre-conceived in their minds. Instead, when I tell them that it’s been pretty productive, I’m assuming that a lot of them only half-believe me and I always feel there’s a need to explain myself. So then I go and try to accurately paint a picture of what my schedule looked like during the week. (Don’t even get me started on weekends.)

It’s interesting that I feel the need to justify myself in other people’s eyes, or that I even care about what they think of me. It’s humbling to admit that I want to sound really productive, not just because it’s true, but because I want to gain recognition in their eyes. I know all of them genuinely mean well, but I also struggle with pride and don’t want them to think anything less of me because I’m not working right now at a 9-5 — thoughts that I’m lazy, unproductive, just wasting time, etc. In reality, perhaps none of them think any differently of me during this life stage, and it’s just all in my head, but I’m scared that they will.

There’s a strong temptation for me to get trapped with thoughts that are based off of my own interpretations and assumptions. It’s a silly, dangerous game that I play every day. In my heart of hearts, I want to be liked and affirmed by others. I seek their approval and worry whether I’ll fall short of their expectations for me. Believe me, I know it sounds really silly, but this battle is real. I have to remind myself that my worth is not found in my job title, or the numbers in my bank account, nor is it found in my ministries or relationships. It is also not found in being busy and productive. Instead of worrying about how others perceive me, I need to focus on how God views me and how I can use my time here on this earth more wisely to glorify him. My circumstances should not and will not define my character. The truth is, my worth is not found in my accomplishments or appearances, but on Christ’s accomplishments for me on that rugged cross so that I could have the freedom to worship God. Therefore, the only one I ever need to please, the only one that I should fear more, is him.

Continue reading